It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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