Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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