I'm gonna have a badass scar
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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