just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
