Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
