I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I supernannyed him into submission
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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