Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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