Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
