I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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