When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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