I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
