Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
