So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
