I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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