My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
