you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
