mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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