I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
