smell my finger.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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