one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
