If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
