How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
