i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
