I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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