hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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