Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
