i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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