He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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