My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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