Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.

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(573): View more from Missouri

This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.

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(845): View more from New York

i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.

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(812): View more from Indiana

A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?

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(925): View more from California

I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??

(510): View more from California

I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5

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