You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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