I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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