You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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