I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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