are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
