so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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