Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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