Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
