I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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