When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
