He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize