put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
