Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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