This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
