bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
