wake up i wanna do it froggy style
birth control should be required to get into college
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
