Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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