Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to have your abortion
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize