I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We have so much sex to catch up on
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
