How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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