it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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