When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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