The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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