I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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