Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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