This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
