Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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