Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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