please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
