I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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