My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize