I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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