Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
