Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
