how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
