you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
